By default we are designed to operate using a ‘management by exception’ approach to living. We expect things to go right and just stay alert to when they are going wrong.
This is our automatic survival mechanism at work. In the short term it is easier on our brains if we do not pay constant re-attention to what is already present and happening routinely. In the long-term, however, it can be harmful to us.
Neurobiologists tell us that when our automated expectations are not met we can take a strong emotionally negative ‘hit’ in the form of different types of chemicals released into the brain and body. We become angry due to a sense of bruised entitlement whenever things we take for granted are taken away.
This default negative-attention setting can cause us to be overwhelmed by runaway automated negativity. We become self-critical, wondering why everything appears so bleak all the time.
Others reinforce the situation by labelling us ‘negative’ and we make the additional mistake of identifying ourselves as ‘that kind of person’, rather than taking responsibility for reversing the pattern.
We can become resentful towards the very things and people that help us most; driving them further away and reinforcing the pattern even as we complain about the affects of their absence.
You may have been on the receiving end of such treatment?
The antidote is to practice deliberate gratitude for things already present in your life.
There is a reason why expressing gratitude is standard practice during prayer or meditation: it makes you feel good.
Deliberately focusing on and appreciating those helpful things and those helpful people already present in your life produces medium, manageable levels of feel-good hormones and neurotransmitters.
The feelings these chemicals induce allow us to feel better connected and safe within the lives we currently have and then reverse the affects of negative emotional responses.
If we have health, enough nutrition and a roof over our heads the only thing we need to give ourselves next in order to feel good is permission to practice gratitude
The best ‘attitude of gratitude’ coach I have come across is Wes Hopper. You can sign up for Wes’s free e-book and short daily newsletter here: http://www.dailygratitude.com/
Regards
Carl
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