Developing an Attitude of Gratitude

By default we are designed to operate using a ‘management by exception’ approach to living.  We expect things to go right and just stay alert to when they are going wrong. 

This is our automatic survival mechanism at work.  In the short term it is easier on our brains if we do not pay constant re-attention to what is already present and happening routinely.  In the long-term, however, it can be harmful to us.

Neurobiologists tell us that when our automated expectations are not met we can take a strong emotionally negative ‘hit’ in the form of different types of chemicals released into the brain and body.  We become angry due to a sense of bruised entitlement whenever things we take for granted are taken away. 

This default negative-attention setting can cause us to be overwhelmed by runaway automated negativity.  We become self-critical, wondering why everything appears so bleak all the time. 

Others reinforce the situation by labelling us ‘negative’ and we make the additional mistake of identifying ourselves as ‘that kind of person’, rather than taking responsibility for reversing the pattern.

We can become resentful towards the very things and people that help us most; driving them further away and reinforcing the pattern even as we complain about the affects of their absence.

You may have been on the receiving end of such treatment?

The antidote is to practice deliberate gratitude for things already present in your life.

There is a reason why expressing gratitude is standard practice during prayer or meditation: it makes you feel good. 

Deliberately focusing on and appreciating those helpful things and those helpful people already present in your life produces medium, manageable levels of feel-good hormones and neurotransmitters. 

The feelings these chemicals induce allow us to feel better connected and safe within the lives we currently have and then reverse the affects of negative emotional responses.

If we have health, enough nutrition and a roof over our heads the only thing we need to give ourselves next in order to feel good is permission to practice gratitude

The best ‘attitude of gratitude’ coach I have come across is Wes Hopper.  You can sign up for Wes’s free e-book and short daily newsletter here: http://www.dailygratitude.com/

Regards

Carl

Depression as a Reaction to a Lack of Freedom

Are you sitting still? Are you sitting still on a regular basis?

Pretty much all religions include the act of regularly 'sitting still' and communicating with our spiritual source as a necessity of becoming a congruent, holistic human being. Atheists need to engage in this practice too if they wish to remain emotionally healthy.

The excellent video below is full of useful information and the need to 'sit still' in order to become unconditionally happy is one of the messages that stands out for me. The first message delivered though is that depression is a reaction to not getting what we are emotionally attached to.

Some things I would add here are:

• Practice gratitude for the things you have, especially when you've just lost something


• don't attach to the outcomes of things; instead attach to the doing of them and being the kind of person who does those things - I deliberately don't attach to the outcomes of things in order to prevent the likelihood of depression developing and as a result of this I've become a constant idea producer with a success rate of about 60% of my ideas being accepted by others (and I remain happy regardless of what others do)


• avoid people who insist they are 'half-glass-full' thinkers but constantly fester on what others didn't do, rather than what they did, and spend their time in immobilised bitterness judging and blaming others - they'll make you depressed just by being around them; especially if they target you with that attitude.

Oh, and did I mention regularly practice stillness?



I've put some Amazon resources below.  If this video had meaning for you or you know of related resources please leave a comment below.  Double-click on the video above to watch other videos from this gentleman - he's got some great stuff.

Regards - Carl

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Notes on Positive Psychology

Came across this excellent article that summarises and provides links to various useful happiness-related sites and self-tests.  Some of the headings I want to write stuff about in future posts with my own twist on things - quite a lot to take in all at once and 'use immediately' but over time you can deliberately integrate this material into your daily thinking.  Please comment on anything that particularly stands out for you (and go check out that site listed at the bottom of the article).   Was it useful?

Notes on Positive Psychology

Regards - Carl