Suffer with Panic Attacks? Here's a useful site ...

Click here to see lots of interesting material on this site which provides a free Panic Prevention email course. I'd recommend you sign up for the free course if you have any type of anxiety related problem - not just panic attacks. There is an audio programme available for under £20 (to me that's really good value) and links to other useful material.

If you're just considering what kind of strategy might help you heal your anxiety problem I'd recommend signing up for every freebie you can get and then pick the option you feel most suited.

I've been receiving the emails from this site for a few weeks now and they know what they're talking about.

Another well-known panic attack expert is Dr Claire Weekes (I read all of her books when wanting to heal from panic attacks). There's an article in my ezinearticles list on what 'emotional acceptance' is in practical terms - which I had trouble understanding when I read her material - but I highly recommend her writing and she writes from the point of view of someone who is both an experienced doctor and a self-healed sufferer of panic attacks.

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Hatred as an Attachment Removal System

'I have to stay busy or the mental chatter just kicks in - I'm talking to her ... trying to figure out how to convince her to treat me with respect.  Two hours every Saturday morning for the past two years it's been happening.  It's like she's there, glaring at me with that mocking smile of hers, knowing I desperately want the relationship to work, whatever form our relationship takes ... she knows I'm terrified of losing our son.  I can't figure out what I did to deserve how she sees me.  What's most frightening is I get the sense I still love her and I don't want to.  I need not to, but it's not happening for me.  I'm not moving on.


Did you notice how I said 'our' son, as though I still think we're in this together?  I can't seem to get it into my head we're not working this out 'together'.  I'm stood in an empty kitchen, on a Saturday morning, talking to her, trying to figure it out with her.  When she's not really there.  Am I nuts or what?


I tell her how important she is to me - we created our son, Ryan, together and it was very special for me and the last thing I want is to fight with her.  I tell her I accept she's with another man - that's her right - but I'm asking her wouldn't it be best if we were friends and doesn't Ryan need his real father?

I remember how our hands tightened together when Ryan took his first breath. It was a special moment, you know?  She gave me one of the biscuits the midwife brought with her cup of tea ...  she said I needed it more than she did, ha.  I 've noticed I keep making excuses for her; I can't seem to get out of the habit of wanting to defend her side of things but the trouble is her side of things is targeted at me.  She hates my guts in reality but I've got this glowing image of her.  I can't seem to face up to what she's actually doing.  I pace up and down the kitchen trying to figure it out.  This goes on for ages and then at some point it dawns on me I'm arguing with a kitchen sink.  You know she took Ryan and went to live abroad with her boyfriend, right?

I've had one phone call from Ryan in the past two years but I blew it, as usual.  On the phone I heard Ryan calling him dad ... you know, the boyfriend?  I heard my son call him dad ... I think she did that.  So I asked Ryan if she did that and he turns to her and asks, straight out, 'he wants to know if you've told me to call Simon daddy' and she put the phone down ... that's two years ago now.


So it's every Saturday morning for two hours at a time.  How the hell do I stop it?  I feel like I want to hate her but I can't and if I did what kind of person would that make me?






The Systematic Purpose of Hate

It's a mistake to think hating always means:

• we are going to take harmful external action (we could end up doing this impulsively if we deny our hateful feelings)


• we are going to deliberately move from a relatively pleasant current emotional state to a more painful one (we either hate already or we don't because hate is an emotionally driven response - we cannot move from a pleasant emotional state to a hateful state by conscious choice)


• by hating we are refusing to forgive (not true - the hating process is actually a part of the forgiveness journey - you must first focus on the hated issue you are forgiving, and fully acknowledge you hate the issue, before moving on to the forgiveness state)


• hating means we are 'bad' people (it is a normal human reaction - it's how we interpret it and what we do about it that matters).

Hate's purpose is to prevent, dissolve or destroy our emotional bonds and dependencies with people who's behaviour or presence encroaches on our personal needs beyond a tolerable threshold. It is a normal territory-protection response and all people have access to it.