If you are emotionally unwell, by this I mean long-term emotionally unwell as opposed to dealing with a one-off external issue, it is not because you have not got something you need from the outside world. It is because you have got something you have to get rid of from your inside world.
We sometimes call this emotional baggage. Emotional baggage comes in the form of trapped emotional energies produced in relation to what may be now finished external situations or imagined events. We have not completed the internal emotional release cycle attached to them and it causes them to remain alive inside of us; we feel as though these things are still happening now.
When our emotional baggage shows itself in our behaviours we hear, and automatically re-tell ourselves, criticisms such as ‘get over it’ and ‘pull yourself together’. What we really need to understand is we must ‘get through it’ and let ourselves ‘fall apart in private’ for a while before we can do this; and then get back to happy, baggage-less you.
Happy You lives inside and emotional illness occurs when multiple negative emotions layer in your body, blocking your conscious from accessing your true self.
Whenever you mentally approach the memories in your brain the trapped energy erupts against your will in a bid to escape.
It is as though there were a cave system in your brain with the emotional energy in your body acting as lava bubbling up. Every now and again you either travel down a cave and open up a route to the lava (and wish you had not) or the lava pressure builds up so much it causes an eruption that seems to overwhelm and ruin everything.
When you work at healing using systematic de-sensitisation or exposure therapy you deliberately drill down into these trapped energies to enforce release. Thinking about drilling? Put your hard hat on..
What Are We Drilling For?
Trapped down there below all that energy sits a happier you waiting to be released. You may not believe this though if you have been ‘out here’, looking for distractions for a long time. You may be wondering if the happy you down there could have survived all this time.
The risk you face is you could spend a long time drilling down to find ‘nothing’. All that work – for nothing. The irony is, nothing is exactly what you will find, because nothing is what happiness is. Nothing is what you should drill for.
Can you draw happiness? Can you picture it? The answer is no - but that does not matter because this is what you are drilling for. I know this may sound strange – but if you have been looking for things in the outside world to make you happy for long enough you may well now be looking for the thing inside – a definite target to aim at when there is no thing to be found. I remember, as I spent several years drilling down to release my obsessions, phobias and panic attacks, occasionally trying to ‘see’ happiness. What was I working towards? There came a time when I just knew I was much happier, but still could not picture it.
I can draw a smile; a can re-live an emotional buzz – but happiness I cannot do in the same way and neither can you.
This is because happiness is about the freedom to move within our own being – not being hemmed in by our thoughts; not feeling pressurised by our feelings. Feeling free. Happiness is about having choices and space. To achieve this all you need is an absence of intense emotional energies.
To create this you must release emotions.
Confidence comes from knowing you are able to create the space whenever you need to. It does not come from never having an intense, difficult to deal with emotional problem ever again.
Rather than just achieving emotional release what we really want to establish is emotional flow. Once we open up the cave network in our brains, and keep it open, the trapped emotional lava gets released but also any future lava releases safely without building up again inside.
Regards - Carl
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