Ideas
An idea is a snapshot map - usually an image. Ideas tend to be easily shared and universally acknowledged as to what they are with other people.
An idea can be an image of something we are moving towards, something we wish to create or the map of a journey we are thinking about travelling.
We are able to share and test our ideas easily with other people and there can be common agreement on what the idea looks like. Individual differences arise, however, when individuals assess the impact of each idea differently and you find an idea you are exploring is something someone else will not even consider.
For example I can share with you a simple three stage idea of an exposure therapy plan and you will understand it clearly – but while I automatically accept the idea as workable you may assess it as the most stupid and dangerous thing a person can do.
We are capable of storing thousands if not millions of ideas over a lifetime without being too concerned about their accuracy.
Several ideas you may like to think about when it comes to removing an emotional disorder include:
- emotional issues are driven by trapped emotional energy rather than the original trigger that produced them
- an emotional response you are currently having in regards to an event happening several years ago may be a liar because it is based on a problem that no longer exists
- even if it is lying the energy has to be released through the past event as if it were temporarily true right now in order for the body to stop wanting to resolve the issue being lied about..
The nature of ideas starts to change when we select an idea from the many available and either decide to apply the map it offers to the way we manage our emotional lives or we see the idea as something to fight..
Beliefs
Beliefs are ideas with roots.
Those roots are fed by emotional responses based on a mixture of real-life experiences and imagined scenarios (mostly imagined scenarios, if we are being honest).
They are also supported by other ideas held in our brains – ideas that show, for example, what happens if the idea is applied for a short time (a day); a medium period of time (few weeks ) and strategically (five years to a lifetime).
We believe certain things will happen if we apply an idea for long enough – the decision as to whether or not we apply a new idea depends on how convinced we are the idea will produce a desired result and how desirable that result is compared to the discomfort of the journey to get to it.
Beliefs are concerned with the truth or otherwise of a map. If we follow the journey represented to us by the idea will we find the destination promised or the threats we were warned about?
Beliefs about a thing are really only concerned with two questions – should we move towards or away from the idea?
If I were to say to you that, as you approach your emotional disorder, uncovering it layer by layer, you will eventually see that you have been deliberately keeping the disorder to prevent some terrible thing from happening, rather than because you are hiding from your own ‘demonic self’ – would you believe me?
The decision which direction to go in, towards or away from an idea, decides your attitude to the problem.
Attitude
In past times ‘attitude’ was the name given to the method used by a predator to stalk its prey. Whether you want to move towards an idea or away from it decides your general direction; but attitude is about the route you expect to follow to get there.
What we know about attitude is once the journey has started the attitude sometimes needs to change as reality dawns.
For example, you may be looking for a straight path to emotional wellness but the path turns out to be a crazy-paving path instead and you sometimes find yourself stuck in the middle of nowhere (at least you think that way at the time). Other times you find yourself where you want to be without knowing quite how you arrived.
If I suggest to you the first part of your journey towards emotional healing, particularly if you have a serious anxiety disorder such as obsessions; OCD or phobias to clear, is to go speak to your doctor and establish a supportive team because this is going to be a long journey and you need their help – would you do that?
Or would that be too much of a delay? You could do what I did and spend the first three months doing an exposure therapy plan alone then rushing to the doctor for confirmation that your ‘mammalian freeze response’ is a normal part of the anxiety process and not instead evidence you are going into a diabetic coma.
Values
Values are the things we regard as most important in life and without which life would not not be worth much (they are still just ideas, really).
Values are both about the destination and the journey. They are how we wish to travel, and why. Our Self-Image is a value system based on who we see ourselves as now, who we wish to be and how we get to be that person (in most cases we already are that person and we just do not know it yet).
In order to be properly lined up mentally and emotionally you need to understand your values and how you work with them right now – if you are not lined up inside the gaps will show.
You can see this in social organisations where what the organisation is set up to achieve on behalf of others is not how the organisation travels itself – for example I remember watching a television programme where a doctor treating insomniacs was trying to get his 110 hour working week reduced. The doctor was crumbling as he worked to help others.
It is easier to see this in others than it is in ourselves but, for an individual, this lack of congruence may show for example in how a person really concerned about the safety of their family acts like a vicious bully to keep everyone ‘safe’.
Because your values become unconscious over time you may forget what they are until they are threatened by a life event or the behaviour of someone else.
When your deepest value systems are being challenged you are at most risk of developing emotional disorders because if the challenge repeats over time you will react more and more strongly; to the point you become sensitised (over-reactive).
Once you become sensitised you lose sight of what your underlying values are and become more concerned with your sensitised state. You know you are over-reacting and become suspicious as to why. You now see YOU as the threat.
Truth is you felt your deepest values were threatened and became compelled to do something about it – but in reality there is nothing you can do and now you are stuck in a Catch-22 situation. All emotionally pumped up with nowhere to go.
How would you value my advice if I told you that valuing the well-being of other people above your own well-being – even if they are, for example, your children - puts you at serious risk of becoming emotionally ill?
Although we cannot remove our value systems, nor should we wish to, we can re-prioritise them. In order to become emotionally well you may, for a long time, have to keep re-visiting and challenging what you value.
You must always value your long-term emotional well-being above that of others - you are of no use to others if you do not do so.
Have I challenged any ideas, beliefs, attitudes and values here?
Regards - Carl
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