- bungee jumping (I don't believe any piece of elastic in the world is capable of holding my weight)
- sitting in a lion cage in a zoo stroking the mane of a half-starved lion
- swimming alongside Great White Sharks in order to get a decent photo opportunity.
How about you? Do you think having any of those fears will hold you back in life? It depends on what you do for a living, I suppose. I might do those things if the feelings I'd get afterwards, for whatever reason, would leave me feeling worse than the blind terror response that prevents me from doing them. But the belief that it's 'common sense' to be afraid of those things stops me from thinking I have some kind of problem I've got to deal with.
The terror I'm describing here doesn't exist in my body at the time of writing - but it would if I was about to do the things described. So as I approached these situations, and I started to produce intense fear responses, I would not declare myself 'phobic' or tell myself I had a difficult-to-deal with anxiety disorder. Would you? I suspect, especially in regard to the lions and Great White Sharks, you'd say I've got my head screwed on right and I would say the same thing about you.
But there are people who do bungee jumping, working with lions and swimming alongside Great White Sharks for fun. So what's going on here? Are they nuts? No - they're de-sensitised. They've used their desire to pull them through any fear they had - the danger is, in fact, that because they lack fear they may allow their enthusiasm to get the better of them and end up dead.
I don't know where it's stored in our brains (it may be the Amygdala - a couple of almond shaped brain bits that are at the centre of our fear management mechanism) but I suspect we hold a 'register' that lists the things we are afraid of. A big list of images and other sensory memories that cause us to react with terror whenever our senses tell us we're near something that's on that list. The things on the list are called 'triggers' and the great thing for most of us is we hardly ever see or experience those triggers.
Problems arise when the triggers on our 'deadly list of fear' are things we come across in normal day-to-day life. I know a lady, for example, who is terrified of plastic piping and anything related to plumbing. Now that's a problem. That fear is at the same level as playing-with-sharks is for most of us but because she consciously knows the pipes aren't sharks, and that in reality they are harmless, she has difficulty accepting the idea that she's got to go de-sensitise to them in the same way she would have to if she wanted to be a swimming-with-sharks expert.
All that happens when we develop a phobia is that we've listed something on our 'fear-list' - and if socially it's accepted as not being something dangerous to us we call it a phobia. When it's something socially accepted as dangerous we call it 'common sense'. It's a perfectly normal process. And so is removing it. The purpose of this post is to get across the message that sensitisation and de-sensitisation are normal processes. To help demonstrate this I'm going to talk about two lower level examples (the only difference between these examples and a full blown anxiety disorder is in the emotional intensity involved).
The two examples are:
- catastrophisation and
- the unconscious incompetence/unconscious competence cycle.
Catastrophisation
Commonly known as 'making mountains out of molehills' catastrophisation is something most of us do at some time. Using our imaginations we let a small amount of bad news (eg being late for work) build into a scenario in our minds that triggers negative emotional responses in our bodies. The bad feelings drive further negative thoughts. By the time we get to work we've decided our boss has already fired us; always hated us anyway and our being late is the final chunk of evidence they need to put their dastardly plan to get rid of us into action. We picture losing our homes as the salary dries up and our kids destitute on the street (if you haven't got any kids just imagine that if you did have your imaginary kids would be destitute on the streets - this is the imagination working here, we can invent anything we want, OK?).
So when your boss sees you at work you're all riled and ready to tell him where to stick his job as he invites you into his office and tells you he's decided to give you a pay award for all your hard work. Eh? Sensitisation over - only not quite, as it takes about four hours for the emotional energy to disperse while you keep telling yourself 'all that grief I gave myself for nothing'.
The 'catastrophisation' process is one of our scenario building mechanisms designed to protect us from possible danger but in a modern world it can cause us harm if not properly managed - it is also an example of the sensitisation-desensitisation cycle at one of its lower levels; but let's not belittle it - you need to get this habit under control or you could end up telling your boss where to stick that job and regret it later. Catastrophisation as a cycle usually only lasts a day or two until the truth of a situation is fully revealed.
The Unconscious Incompetence/Unconscious Competence Cycle
What a mouthful, eh? I like to call it the 'don't know-don't care/do know-don't care' cycle.
This cycle, and our refusal to go through it, is the main cause of people not making progress in their jobs and personal lives. Learning the cycle and applying it on a regular, systematic basis can help you to manage your personal growth. There are four stages to the cycle:
Stage 1: Unconscious Incompetence - 'don't know-don't care'
I can't fly a plane but it doesn't bother me because I don't need to know because I never intend to fly a plane. Even when my employer tells me he's sending me to another part of the country in a Cessna two-seater it doesn't bother me because my employer tells me the pilot is very experienced.
Stage 2: Conscious Incompetence - 'don't know-do care'
We're at 20'000 feet over mountains when my experienced pilot tells me he feels dizzy and promptly passes out. As the plane starts to dip it suddenly really bothers me that I haven't got a clue how to fly a plane. Where's the microphone thing? Ground Control!
Stage 3: Conscious Competence - 'do know-do care'
Ground Control talk me down (amazing how they do that, eh?) and after they take the pilot off to hospital I report back to my boss who tells me I'd better take flying lessons as he wants me to make the trip on a regular basis and it's obvious I've got a knack for flying.
Stage 4: Unconscious Competence - 'do know-don't care'
Five years later and I'm a pilot myself now and I regard other non-pilots as being dangerous around planes and not too bright. I can fly with one hand tied behind my back and the danger now is I'll not give myself enough sleep one night and while giving a business person a trip somewhere in my two-seat Cessna I pass out due to exhaustion and they have to go through the same learning cycle I did.
OK - which of the four stages is the most intense 'sensitisation-desensitisation' stage? What kind of thoughts go through a person's head and how do they feel?
This is such a common behavioural cycle that it's taught in most administrative management courses - and it merely describes the de-sensitisation process - just at a lower level of emotional intensity than you'd find in a phobia or an obsession. It can last from a single day to many years as someone transitions through the stages of the cycle.
Please leave any comments/answers or questions below.
In the next post I'll be looking at the difference between phobias and obsessions when it comes to becoming de-sensitised.
Regards - Carl
PS if you think I'm joking about shark swimmers ... all you need is a little stick to poke 'em with and you're safe ... apparently ...
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